“Cakes are healthy too, you just eat a small slice.” 
― Mary Berry

I suppose there are times for colossal slices of cake, fatter than the Cake Bible itself, loaded with enough calories to sustain a small child for a week, and so obscenely heavy it could suffocate a small lapdog–an IG “Omg, can you believe the size of this thing!?” photo op, a questionable food challenge (e.g. Man vs. Food ), or simply an “I need to drown my sorrows in cake” moment. Though beyond the sheer spectacle of it, I can’t imagine taking on a behemoth-size slice of cake without the help of at least a couple of hungry companions…or one very large tape worm. While I’m obsessed about cake, especially layer cake, there is such a thing as too much…like when you cross the line between enjoyment and pure gluttony.

My friend and former boss Staffan used to say that a great dessert experience should never exhaust the palate–that is to say you shouldn’t tire of eating it after a few bites. There should be just the right amount and complexity of flavors and textures to keep your tastebuds interested and wanting more. After eating the equivalent of a small animal in cake, in a single sitting, my palate wouldn’t merely be tired, it’d be in a coma!

On the other hand, give me a selection of little cake bites or petit fours, and my taste buds are dancing the mambo–every morsel firing off hundreds of synapses in my brain. For me, the joy of afternoon tea, similar to dim sum, is the opportunity to sample many different small bites. Unlike dim sum, however, traditional afternoon tea is a predetermined selection and quantity of scones, sandwiches, biscuits (aka cookies), cakes and mini desserts displayed on a tiered stand. There’s no temptation to take more than what you can presumably consume in one sitting, as with a dessert buffet, so you’re able to focus on savoring a crafted selection of items designed to enhance your overall enjoyment of the tea experience–a decidedly civilized approach.

On a side note, speaking as a pastry chef who has produced more than her fair share of elaborate dessert buffets over the last twenty years, it is simultaneously gratifying and disturbing to see guests excitedly plow through a meticulously executed display, repeatedly loading up their plates full of desserts in a kind of FOMO frenzy, only to see a painful amount the same desserts half-eaten lying in a pile amongst dirty dishes a few hours later. To be fair, there was probably just as much half-eaten savory food. Yet it’s hard not to be gutted by the waste when you’re the one who labored for hours on end to make the desserts look and taste fantastic.

I guess you can say I’m a bit bias when it comes to buffets in general, which is ironic considering how much I loved them before becoming a chef, especially as a kid, when I discovered buffet nirvana at the Top of the Mark (top floor restaurant at the Mark Hopkins Hotel), with their eye-popping seafood displays and seemingly endless selection of desserts. At a whopping $50 per head back in the late 70’s, you better believe my family made it worth every penny–Dad and Uncle Henry going to town on the crab legs, while Mom and Grandma stuffed “leftovers” (desserts in particular) into plastic baggies hidden in their handbags, a habit Mom still occasionally practices (much to our embarrassment) to this day. Can’t say whether it’s a generational thing…or a Chinese thing. Personally, I vote for the former.

I will admit there is something undeniably appealing, even seductive, about a boundless spread full of color, texture and variety. Nevertheless, there is truth in the phrase “eyes bigger than your stomach.” When presented with too many options at one time, many of us experience a kind of short-circuiting between what we see and what we want, or I should say what our stomachs want, invariably compelling us to choose practically EVERYTHING for fear of passing up a few potentially great things. This is one of the many reasons why I favor the curated nature of afternoon tea. I may not love everything, but I probably won’t cause myself gastric distress tasting my way through the selection either.

Now back on the subject of cake, specifically cake bites, I will go on record and say I have an almost love/hate relationship with them. I absolutely love eating them. They are the first objects my eyes gravitate to on a tiered tea stand or dessert buffet. I begin salivating at the sight of delicately thin alternating layers of cake and filling, adorable nonpareils dotting smooth buttercream, or petit fours wrapped in elegant sheaths of marzipan or fondant.

On the flip side, the thought of producing mass quantities of them by hand (I’m talking thousands) make my wrists seize up with carpal tunnel–another reason why I prefer to create (and enjoy) these little jewels for afternoon tea, where each one has a chance to shine and (hopefully) not consigned to the graveyard of half-eaten food.

In thinking about what selection of mini cake bites I’d like to see on my tea stand, I considered a number of elements, principally color, texture, and flavor…not to mention whimsy and fun. How much vibrant color and flavor, for example, can I pack into one type of cake? The answer is at least four…that is if we’re talking about a set of mini Battenbergs.

The typical Battenberg cake consists of light almond sponge cake baked in two colors–traditionally pink and yellow–assembled with jam and wrapped in marzipan, each slice resembling a checkerboard. The technique and precision required to execute a picture perfect Battenberg made it a favorite baker’s challenge on The Great British Bake Off, as well as all the other spin-off Bake Off shows.

For my Mini Battenberg Cakes, I went with an ambitious five flavors and colors, resulting in four flavor combinations–chocolate and strawberry, coconut and peach, ube and coconut, peach and ube. Originally I planned on a sixth flavor, ginger, which I thought would pair nicely with the peach. Unfortunately, I miscalculated the amount of base cake batter I would need. Because I didn’t want almond to be the dominant flavor–three of the four would be wrapped in marzipan anyway–I made a straight up butter-based sponge cake to serve as a blank canvass.

I divided the batter evenly (or as evenly as I could) into five bowls, adding about 1 1/2 tablespoons cocoa powder mixed with about 1 tablespoon of warm milk for the chocolate sponge and about 1 1/2 tablespoons strained strawberry puree, 1 tablespoon of ground freeze-dried strawberries and a few drops of red food gel for the strawberry sponge. I flavored the coconut sponge with about 1/2 teaspoon of coconut extract and 1 tablespoon coconut powder. For the peach sponge I used about 1 1/2 tablespoons peach puree, 1 teaspoon of peach water, and a couple drops of orange food gel. Finally for the ube sponge, I just used about 3/4 teaspoon ube flavoring which was so intensely violet I didn’t need to add any other coloring.

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I used three 1/8 sheet pans and one 1/4 sheet pan split in half with a makeshift foil divider to bake off my five cake batters, which took approximately ten minutes at 350F degrees.

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The baked sponge cake sheets were just shy of 1/2″ thick, so when I cut them into squared off 1/2″ strips I realized that I’d have to assemble at least nine strips in order to construct a reasonably sized Battenberg. To glue the strips together, I warmed up some berry jam for the chocolate/strawberry cake and apricot for the others, then carefully brushed the sides of the cake strips with the melted jam.

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Marzipan is one of those polarizing ingredients–you either love it or hate it…or if you have a nut allergy, you avoid it at all costs. I personally like it in small doses, mainly because it can be pretty damn sweet. For this particular baking experiment, I wasn’t especially keen on spending money on the expensive store bought variety, so given that I had the necessary ingredients I opted to make my own marzipan. Contrary to what you might think, fresh marzipan is really not that hard to make, and even easier with a food processor. Best of all you can control the level of sweetness.

I simply blitzed fine ground blanched almond meal, powdered sugar, a pinch of sea salt, a teaspoon of meringue powder, a couple tablespoons of corn syrup, a little vanilla and almond extracts and tiny amount of water together into an ultra smooth, pliable dough. I divided the marzipan in half, keeping one part plain, and kneading the other part in cocoa powder to turn it into a chocolate marzipan.

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A single batch yielded enough marzipan to wrap three of the four assembled cakes. For the fourth, which I decided would be the peach/coconut, I frosted the cake with pink Italian buttercream leftover from a gender reveal cake I made last week. To mimic the wrap around effect of the marzipan, I frosted the cake on all four sides, letting the buttercream set in the freezer until completely solid in between each coat.

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The second mini cake on the menu is kind of a hybrid, born out of my inability to decide between carrot cake and fluffy Japanese cheesecake…so I ended up layering the latter on top of the former to create a Carrot Cake-Japanese Cheesecake Bite. I’ve come across several iterations of the “cheesecake-swirled carrot cake,” but found they were either not true carrot cakes (more like a carrot blondie) or not really cheesecake (more like a cream cheese swirl), or not a good balance of both. I wanted each cake bite to be a harmonious marriage of two distinctive flavors and textures. I wasn’t a 100% sure the Japanese cheesecake would work, but I was fairly confident it was worth a go. I first prebaked the carrot cake layer, allowed it to cool for a little bit, then proceeded to top it with the Japanese cheesecake batter and bake the whole thing in a water bath.

The result was an airy not-too-sweet cheesecake layer that easily yielded to the bite, melding seamlessly into the moist tender carrot cake bottom.

Drawing on some Asian influences, I reimagined a cake I made a couple of weeks ago to create the third set of cake bites, transforming stacked crepes into Mini Matcha and Black Sesame Crepe Cake Rolls. This was one of those situations where I accidentally bought a too small crepe pan and had to figure out a creative way to put it to use. I’d seen videos for full-size crepe cake rolls on YouTube. Why not use little crepes to make mini crepe cake rolls?

I still had some coconut creme filling leftover from making the Ube Crepe Cake stashed in the freezer, which I thought would look quite stunning (not to mention be damn tasty) layered and rolled inside Black Sesame Crepes. Since I knew I wouldn’t need much crepe batter to make mini crepes, I decided to split a half recipe of crepe batter, flavoring one batter with ground black sesame powder, a few drops of tasted sesame oil and black food coloring and the second batter with about a tablespoon of matcha powder. To fill the Matcha Crepes, I made a tiny batch of white chocolate creme, infused with a bit of toasted rice tea.

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I tried two different methods of rolling the crepes–rolling from the short end and rolling from the long end–which of course resulted in varying diameters.

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While both looked great, I liked the more dramatic layering of the fatter black sesame crepe roll.

Any or all of these “mini cakes” are well worth making for afternoon tea. You certainly don’t have to make quite as many varieties to get the same effect. After all, the pleasure of afternoon tea is about the enjoying the quality of the selection, not the quantity.

Battenberg Cake

Yield: enough for 2 mini cakes

• 1 stick + 3 T. unsalted butter, softened
• 3/4 c. sugar
• 3 large eggs, slightly beaten
• 1 t. vanilla extract
• 3/4 c. all-purpose flour
• 1/2 c. cake flour
• 1 t. baking powder
• 1/4 t. sea salt
• 2 T. whole milk
• 1 1/2 T. cocoa powder (optional)
• 1 t. flavoring of choice (optional)
• 1 t. citrus zest (optional)
• 2-3 drops food color gel (optional)
• 1 T. ground freeze dried fruit (optional)
• 1/2 c. strained apricot or strawberry jam, melted

1. Sift together flours, baking powder, and salt; set aside.
2. With an electric hand or stand mixer, beat the butter and sugar together until very light and fluffy.
3. Gradually beat in egg a little at a time, sprinkling in about a tablespoon of the sifted flour mixture half way to prevent the batter from curdling.
4. Beat in vanilla.
5. Mix in the flour until just incorporated. Stir in milk. *If you’re planning on making a chocolate batter, reserve 1T. to mix with the cocoa powder.
6. Divide the batter evenly into 2 bowls, then flavor and color as you like.
7. Spread the batters out evenly in 2 greased and lined 1/8 sheet pans or alternatively make a foil divider and place it in the middle of a greased and lined 1/4 sheet pan.
8. Bake the cakes in a preheated 350F degree oven for about 12-14 mins. or until cakes test done.
9. Cool the cakes completely before assembling.

Assembly:

1. Measure the height of each cake (should be about 5/8″) then cut the cakes into strips the same width as the height, trimming off the edges.
2. Lay out three strips in alternating colors, then brush the sides with melted jam to glue them together.
3. Brush the top of the cake strips, then lay on three more cake strips in opposite alternating colors, brushing jam on the sides to glue them together.
4. Brush another layer of jam on the surface and repeat the same color combination as the first set, brushing jam on the sides to glue strips together.
5. Continue assembling the next Battenberg, following the same process.
6. Roll out the marzipan to between 1/8-1/16″ thickness and square off the edges. The marzipan sheet should be long enough on one side to cover the length of the cake and wide enough on the other to completely wrap both cakes on all sides with just a tiny bit of overlap. Divide the sheet in half.
7. Brush each half with melted jam and carefully wrap each cake, making sure to firmly press the marzipan against the surface create a tight seal. Trim off the ends.

Marzipan

• 1 1/2 c. fine ground blanched almond flour
• 1 1/4 c. powder sugar
• pinch of sea salt
• 1 t. meringue powder (or 1 T. pasteurized egg white)
• 2 T. corn syrup
• 1/2 t. vanilla extract
• 1/2 t. almond extract
• 2-3 T. water

1. Place the almond flour, powdered sugar, and salt in a food processor and pulse for 2-3 seconds to blend. *Add the meringue powder at this point if using.
2. Add the corn syrup, egg white (if using), and extracts. Pulse at 2 second intervals until the mixture begins to come together.
3. Trickle in the water, a tablespoon at time, pulsing at intervals until the marzipan comes together in a smooth pliable dough. Don’t add too much water!
4. To make chocolate marzipan, knead in about 1-2 tablespoons of cocoa powder (depending on the amount of marzipan)
5. Wrap the marzipan well until ready to use.

Carrot Cake-Japanese Cheesecake Bites

Yield: 2 dozen bites

Carrot Cake:

• 1/2 c. sugar
• 2 T. light brown sugar
• 1/4 c. oil
• 1 large egg
• 1/2 t. vanilla extract
• 1 t. bourbon
• 1/2 cup crushed pineapple, well drained
• 3/4 c. all-purpose flour
• 3/4 t. ground cinnamon
• 1/4 t. ground nutmeg
• 1/4 t. ground ginger
• 1/2 t. baking powder
• 1/8 t. baking soda
• scant 1/2 t. sea salt
• 3/4 c. grated carrots, loosely packed
• 1/4 c. shredded coconut
• 1/4 c. finely chopped pecans

1. Whisk together first 7 ingredients; set aside.
2. In a separate bowl, sift in flour, spices, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
3. Mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients.
4. Stir in the remaining ingredients until just incorporated.
5. Spread the batter into a greased and full-lined 10″x2″ square pan.
6. Bake in a preheated 350F degree oven for about 18-20 mins. or until cake tests done. Cool to room temperature.

Japanese Cheesecake:

• 8 oz. cream cheese, softened
• 1/3 c. whole milk
• 1/4 c. sour cream
• 7 T. sugar, divided
• pinch of sea salt
• 2 large eggs, separated
• 2 T. cake flour, sifted
• 1 t. vanilla extract
• 1/2 t. lemon zest

1. Place the cream cheese, sour cream, milk, 3 T. sugar, and salt in a heat proof bowl set over simmer water and gently stir until the cream cheese is melted. Or microwave at 30 second intervals on high.
2. Remove from the heat and whisk the cream cheese mixture until smooth. Gradually whisk in the yolks, then flour, vanilla, and zest.
3. With an electric mixer, beat the whites and remaining sugar to firm peaks, then carefully fold into the cream cheese batter in 2 additions.
4. Pour the batter onto the carrot cake and set the pan inside a larger pan. Fill the larger pan with enough boiling hot water to come halfway up the cake pan.
5. Bake the cheesecake at 325F degrees for about 15-20 mins. or until the cheesecake is set.
6. Cool and chill the cheesecake completely before cutting.

Genmai Cha-Infused White Chocolate Creme

• 1/2 c. whole milk, heated
• 1 t. genmai cha tea leaves (or 1 teabag)*
• 2/3 c. white chocolate chips
• pinch of sea salt
• 1/2 t. gelatin powder
• 1 T. cold water
• 1 c. heavy cream, whipped to medium soft peaks

1. Steep the tea leaves in the hot milk for 5 mins.
2. Meanwhile, sprinkle the gelatin over the cold water to soften.
3. Place the white chocolate in a microwave safe bowl and strain the milk over it. Microwave the mixture for 30 secs. on high. Whisk until smooth, then whisk in soften gelatin and salt.
4. Chill the mixture until until slightly thicken, then fold in the whipped cream.

*Genmai Cha is a tea blend made up of green tea and toasted brown rice. You can also use just toasted brown rice to give the creme a nutty toasty flavor.