If there’s one thing the last six months have taught me is that there is a razor thin line between reality and hyperbole. I have to stop saying things like “as if things couldn’t get any weirder” because, invariably, they do. In San Francisco, we all woke up Wednesday morning to oppressively murky skies the color of burnt orange. When I say burnt orange I’m not referring to the Pantone color on a paint chip or shade of Hermes handbag, No, I mean literally burnt orange, angry, ominous, tinged with ash and smoke. It was so dark at 9:00 am that I had no I idea how late I’d slept in. Even my dog Violet, no doubt wary of the eery vibe outside, remained curled up at my hip. unmoved by her full bladder. My friend Maria lamented on social media it was a day best spent in bed hiding under the covers with her dog. I would’ve subscribed to that game plan except Violet is resolutely an outdoor pooper, more specifically grass, dirt, or ground cover–no concrete, no cement, so the backyard was out of the question. As we tentatively made our way down the darkened street through a thick noxious haze, Violet kept nervously glancing up at me as if questioning my decision to drag her out into that forbidding hellscape. Strange times indeed.

My sister-in-law Yvonne sent me an image that eerily captures what both Violet and her cousin Rex must have felt looking out the front door, wondering what the heck was going on and debating the wisdom of stepping even one paw out of the house.

The photo inspired Yvonne to propose a writing challenge to the family at large. Write a story based on this image, with the following parameters:

1. Keep it short.
2. It can be a graphic short story
3. It can be a poem
4. It cannot contain the word or idea “apocalypse”
5. It can be a fantasy
6. It can be real life
7. It does not need to include a dog

So here goes…

Comfortably perched on her favorite spot, nestled in a crevice of blankets, between the back cushions and sofa, watching as always…her superior olfactory senses on high alert for enticing aromas…something meaty perhaps.

Violet’s human was at it again, moving to and fro, grabbing things, moving things around, cracking eggs, measuring flour, opening and closing the refrigerator, hauling that bulky red machine with bowl and metal attachments off the shelf. Violet knew to stay out of her human’s way when she was in that zone. Occasionally, her human would pop her head around the partition to make a silly kissy face at Violet. Why does she do that? Doesn’t she know I’d rather have my belly rubbed? From what she could discern, Violet concluded whatever her human was making today, it was not worth her attention. Her eyes fluttered.

Sharp, stinging scent of burnt sugar and toasted nuts snaked up her nostrils. Violet winced. As she drew in a deep breath, a whiff of bitter cocoa dust invaded her lungs, sending Violet gasping for breath. Suddenly, she found herself flailing about in a viscous pool of that sweet dark sticky brown stuff her human forbade Violet from ever touching, pointedly shaking her finger and mouthing “NO” whenever Violet got a bit too close. She needn’t have bothered. Violet was merely curious as to why anyone would want to eat something so utterly unappealing. Now all Violet wanted to do was to escape this entanglement and run outside. She came to a screeching halt at the precipice of the doorway. In front of her stood Cousin Rex, staring out at the empty street cloaked in an ominous burnt orange light that stretched across the sky. Rex nervously glanced back at Violet as if she had something to do with all this…but then he always attributed way too much power to his diminutive cousin. Looking down at her chocolate covered paws, Violet wondered… maybe she did…

Well…not entirely a fantasy. I was working on a decadent chocolate gateau on Wednesday for Yvonne’s birthday. My brother Sam, who is the master of the last minute requests, texted me that morning asking for “help” making a Chocolat Royale for his wife. You see they’d been dreaming about this French classic ever since they had it for her birthday in Paris last year and he wanted to recreate it for her. A lovely thought to be sure…but he had no idea how to make it happen…and hadn’t planned accordingly…like ordering the specialty ingredients ahead of time. So, the day before her birthday he resorted to his failsafe option…me.

I had to Google the cake because the name Chocolat Royole didn’t ring a bell. I soon discovered that I’d been making different variations of this dessert for years…I just didn’t use that moniker. The classic “Royale” consists of a layer of hazelnut dacquoise (or meringue sponge), topped with a divine crunchy layer of milk chocolate hazelnut praline feuilletine, then a layer of silky dark chocolate mousse, finished with a pristine chocolate mirror glaze.

Our main problem was finding the paillete feuilletine, which is not a common pastry ingredient you’d find in the baking aisle of your local grocery store…in France maybe. When I worked in professional kitchens, I’d order this specialty item through one of my gourmet vendors, so I never actually had to find an alternative. The closest substitute was crushing up a box wafer cookies called Gavotte French Crepe Dentelles, also not an easy find. I sent Sam to Whole Foods in search of the elusive cookie–no luck.

• 

• 

In fact, Sam ultimately went to three stores to gather up the necessary ingredients–a small bag of hazelnuts, some milk chocolate, and a jar of Nutella among other things–subbing out the feuilletine with a box of Kellog’s corn flakes and a can of Pepperidge Farms Chocolate Hazelnut Pirouettes. Lucky for him I had the remaining ingredients in my pantry. Shooing him away–his “help” would’ve only set me back another hour–I set about constructing Yvonne’s birthday cake with ingredients I had on hand.

First, I toasted the meager bag of hazelnuts until golden to intensify their flavor and facilitate the removal of their skin, vigorously rubbing the toasted nuts between the layers of a kitchen towel. I divided the nuts–half to grind into a flour, half to coat in caramelized sugar for the praline–mixing the ground hazelnuts with almond flour to make the dacquoise sponge and grinding the caramel coated nuts into a praline powder for the feuilletine layer .

• 

• 

The chocolate hazelnut filled pirouettes proved to be problematic. There was too much filling and not enough of the cookie so when I crushed them with a rolling pin I ended up a clumpy chocolate mess, which meant I had to supplement the minimal cookie flakes with more crumbled corn flakes. This makeshift combo was coated in a mixture of melted milk chocolate, Nutella, a little filtered coconut oil, sea salt, and ground praline, then spread out over the dacquoise and placed in the fridge to set while I made the dark chocolate mousse.

The mousse itself was fairly simple to make. I combined bittersweet, semi-sweet, and milk chocolates (basically cobbled together to achieved the equivalent of all semi-sweet) in a bowl with a generous pinch of sea salt and a cup of heavy cream, microwaved on high for a couple of minutes to heat through, then whisked until smooth. While the ganache base cooled, I softened some gelatin powder in cold water then zapped it for 15 seconds to melt and whisked the melted gelatin into the ganache. Once the ganache had cooled to room temperature I gently whipped it into some medium soft whipped cream to turn the ganache base into a velvety, supple mousse, which I then layered on top of the set feuillettine, covered and refrigerated overnight.

The next morning, I unmolded the mousse cake, set it on a rack, and poured on a thin layer of fluid dark chocolate and Nutella ganache to coat the surface and sides. I eschewed the traditional cocoa mirror glaze because Sam insisted the cake they had in Paris wasn’t finished with a shiny mirror glaze, but rather a thin coating of ganache and dusting of cocoa powder. Who was I to argue? Besides, I’m not particularly fond of mirror glaze, which is essentially a flavored gelatin coating. I think the finished cake looked great–a simple dusting of cocoa powder, decorative sprinkling of ground praline and two little pirouettes.

• 

While it may not have been exactly the same as the cake Yvonne’s been obsessing over for the last year, my 11th hour version–made with cornflakes and not real paillete feuilletine under a burnt orange sky–came surprisingly close to satisfying her craving for Gateau Chocolat Royale.

Not having the exact ingredients I improvised, adapting a recipe I found on YouTube for Chocolate Royal Trianon.

Instead of the cocoa mirror glaze, I gently melted down some bittersweet chocolate ganache I had in the freezer, then whisked in about 2 T. Nutella. and 1 T. hot water to thin out the consistency and make the ganache more fluid.

If you can find the paillete feuilletine or Gavotte French Crepe cookies online by all means go for it. Otherwise, crumbled corn flakes or some other type of flaky wafer textured cookie will work.

Gateau Chocolat Royale (cheater’s version)

Yield: 10-12 servings

Almond Hazelnut Dacquoise:

• 1/3 c. ground toasted hazelnuts
• 1/3 c. almond flour
• 1/2 c. powdered sugar
• 1 1/2 T. cornstarch
• 2 large egg whites
• 2 T. sugar
• 1/4 t. sea salt

1. Place the ground nuts, powdered sugar, and cornstarch in a food processor and pulse to combine.
2. Whip together the whites and sea salt until foamy, then beat in sugar, then continue whipping the whites to stiff peaks.
3. Gently fold the nut mixture into the whites in 3 additions.
4. Spread the batter evenly in a fully ;lined 9″ square pan.
5. Bake in a preheated 400F degree oven for about 11-12 mins. or until golden. Cool completely.

Milk Chocolate Feuilletine Praline:

• 1/3 c. toasted hazelnuts
• 1/4 c. sugar
• 1 T. water
• 1/8 t. sea salt
• 2 T. Nutella
• 1 T. filtered coconut oil
• 2 oz. milk chocolate
• 1 1/4 c. corn flakes, lightly crushed

1. Dissolve sugar and water in sauce pan, bring to a boil.
2. Cook sugar until light golden amber, then remove from heat and stir in nuts to coat. Spread nuts out onto a greased baking sheet to cool and set.
3. Break up the caramelized nuts and grind to a power in food processor.
4. In a microwave safe bowl combine the salt, milk chocolate, coconut oil, and Nutella, then gently melt at 50% power at 30 sec. intervals. Stir until smooth.
5. Add the ground praline (reserved 2 T. for garnish) and corn flakes, then fold together to coat in melted chocolate.
6. Spread the mixture evenly over the dacquoise. Chill in refrigerator until set.

Chocolate Mousse:

• 10 semi-sweet chocolate
• pinch of sea salt
• 2 1/3 c. heavy cream, divided
• 1 1/2 t. gelatin powder
• 2 T. cold water

1. Combine chocolate, salt and 1 c. cream in a microwave safe bowl. Heat on high for about 90 secs, stir, then heat for another 30 secs until. Stir until smooth.
2. Sprinkle gelatin over cold water, let stand for 4 mins., then microwave for 15 secs to melt. Stir melted gelatin into the ganache. Set aside to cool to room temperature.
3. Whip the remaining cream to medium peaks, then carefully whip in ganache.
4. Spread the mousse evenly over the feuilletine. Refrigerate overnight.

Bittersweet Chocolate Nutella Ganache:

• 6 oz. bittersweet chocolate
• 2 T. Nutella
• 6 oz. heavy cream
• pinch of sea salt
• 1 T. hot water

1. Combine all the ingredients into a microwave safe bowl and heat on high at 30 sec. intervals, stirring in between until chocolate is melted and smooth.
2. If the ganache doesn’t seem fluid enough to glaze the top and sides of cake, whisk in a little more hot water.
3. Use an offset spatula to smooth over the surface and sides of the cake.
4. Place the cake in the freezer for 5 mins. to set the ganache. Finish cake by dusting the entire surface with cocoa and sprinkle on reserved praline.